It's hard to believe we are only 4 days away from flying back to Bulgaria to bring our son home! His bags are packed (maybe a little too full) but we are trying to be as prepared as possible! My excitement level is finally started to outweigh my nerves and I am focusing on Gotchya day instead of the flight over (this helps me not get so nervous to fly). Every evening that Dustin and I sit down to spend time together we talk about how things are about to drastically change. We won't have quiet evenings to ourselves anymore. The TV will be overrun with cartoons and our house will probably not ever be as clean as I'd like for it to be again. Then we talk about how exciting it is that these changes are about to take place. I mean this time next week we'll be parents. It seems so surreal to think about, almost as if it's all a dream. When you spend 2 years working toward something, it doesn't seem possible for it to come to an end. But thank goodness it is!
I never knew it was possible to love and miss someone so far away, that I knew so little about. Having spent only 3 short days with our son, the love that we have for him is as if we've known him for all 6 years of his life. We hurt for him, knowing that the situation he is in and the life he's endured has not been easy. We pray for his heart and healing daily, knowing that he is about to endure a terrible loss. His small world is about to be turned upside down and we are the cause for it. It's not something a child can understand at such a young age, but we pray that he clings to us in this time of turmoil. We want him to know how loved he is. Not just by us but so many people that are just as excited as we are to bring him home.
Easton is going to have to learn how to be a part of a family. He'll have to learn how to be dependent on us for his needs. He's going to have to learn trust, affection, and love. We would be silly to think that these lessons will come easy. We just pray that they come!
Yesterday we received our expense report for in country cost and they were way more than we expected. At first I stressed out, we had not prepared to see those kinds of numbers for an expense. We knew it would be a little more because our trip has been extended but we were still in shock. I pulled together our adoption fund, remaining grant funds, and our safety net to realize we had just enough. Nothing more and Nothing less. Isn't God good? I am reminded of the Israelites during their 40 years in the desert. Each day God provided manna. Just enough. Nothing more and Nothing less than what they needed. What an incredible way to grow your faith. Yes it takes away our safety net for medical expenses once home, but when it's needed we fully believe God will provide.
Dustin and I often worry about our ability to parent. Once again I think to the Israelites, God's chosen. Easton is one of God's beloved. Just like the Israelites, it is God who is providing for Easton. He chose us to be his parents. We will be nothing more and nothing less than what he needs. We are trying our hardest to live in this truth!
It is our hope that we can update daily during our time in Bulgaria, but we truly do not know what the coming weeks will hold. Will you pray for us? Pray for Easton. Pray for the workers that have cared for him for the past 6 years. Pray for our family. Pray for traveling mercies. Pray that we can turn to God for guidance in every situation. Pray that Easton grows up to become exactly who God intends for him to be, Nothing more and Nothing less.